摩登家庭第一季第一集剧本 侵删谢谢

1 - Kids, breakfast! 孩子们  吃早饭了 

2 - Kids? 孩子们 

3 - Phil, would you get them? 菲尔  把他们叫下来好吗 

4 - Yeah. Just a sec. 好  等一下 

5 - Kids! 孩子们 

6 - - That is - Okay. -这真是  -算了 

7 - Kids? Get down here! 孩子们  快下来 

8 - Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? 我们远在楼上  你们喊也没用 

9 - - Just text me. - All right. That's not gonna happen. -发个短信不就行了  -那是不可能的 

10 - And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit. 你不能穿这套衣服出门 

11 - What's wrong with it? 这衣服怎么了 

12 - Honey, do you have anything to say 亲爱的  对你女儿这条裙子 

13 - - to your daughter about her skirt? - Sorry. -有什么意见吗  -不好意思 

14 - - Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. - Thanks. -挺可爱的嘛  宝贝  -谢了 

15 - No. It's way too short. 不行  这裙子太短了 

16 - People know you're a girl. 大家知道你是女生 

17 - You don't need to prove it to them. 没必要穿这么少给他们看 

18 - Luke got his head stuck in the banister again. 卢克又把头卡在栏杆里了 

19 - I got it. Where's the baby oil? 我去吧  婴儿油在哪儿 

20 - It's on our bedside tab- I don't know. Find it. 在我们床头的  我不知道  你自己找 

21 - Come on! 拜托 

22 - I was out of control growing up. 我在成长期间简直无法无天 

23 - There, you know? I said it. 你看  我坦白了 

24 - I-I just don't want my kids... 我只是不想让我的孩子 

25 - to make the same bad mistakes I made. 重蹈我的覆辙 

26 - I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked, 只要海莉没有半裸着在佛罗里达沙滩上醒来 

27 - I've done my job. 我就算完成我的任务了 

28 - - Our job. - Right. -我俩的任务  -对 

29 - I've done our job. 我就算完成了我俩的任务 

30 - Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it! 加油  曼尼  踢球啊  踢啊 

31 - Don't let him- Kick it! 别让他  踢啊 

32 - Manny, go! A la derecha! A la derecha! 曼尼  加油  往右跑  往右 

33 - No! No, no. 不  不  不要啊 

34 - He tripped him, Jay. Where's the penalty? 他下绊子  杰  怎么没人吹犯规 

35 - Gloria, they're 0 and 6. 歌洛莉亚  他们已经落后了6个球 

36 - Let's take it down a notch. 你小点声叫喊 

37 - We're very different. 我们是不同世界的人 

38 - Jay's from the city. 杰来自城市 

39 - He has a big business. 他的生意做得很大 

40 - I come from a small village. 我来自一个小山村 

41 - Very poor but very, very beautiful. 穷困潦倒  但风景怡人 

42 - It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the- 我们村拥有全哥伦比亚最多的 

43 - What's the word? 那个词怎么说来着 

44 - Murders. 凶杀案 

45 - Yes. The murders. 没错  凶杀案 

46 - Manny, stop him! 曼尼  拦住他 

47 - Stop him! You can do it! 拦住他  你可以的 

48 - Damn it, Manny! 你真烂  曼尼 

49 - Come on, coach. You gotta take that kid out. 教练  该让那孩子下场了 

50 - You wanna take him out? How about I take you out? 你想让他下场吗  不如我让你"下场"如何 

51 - - Honey, honey. - Why don't you worry about your son? -亲爱的  -你还是操心你的儿子吧 

52 - He spent the first half with his hand in his pants! 他整个上半场光忙着抓裤裆了 

53 - I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks. 那话我6周来一直想对她说来着 

54 - I'm Josh. Ryan's dad. 我叫乔希  莱恩的爸爸 

55 - Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett. Manny's mother. 我叫歌洛莉亚·普里契特  曼尼的妈妈 

56 - - Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad? -这位是你父亲吧  -她父亲? 

57 - - Yeah. - No, no. That's funny. -是啊  -不  不是  真搞笑 

58 - Actually, no, I'm her husband. 怎么可能  我是她老公 

59 - Don't be fooled by the, uh- 别被外表给骗了 

60 - Give me a second here. 稍等片刻 

61 - Who is a good girl? Who's that? 谁是乖宝宝啊  是谁啊 

62 - Who's that? 是谁啊 

63 - - Oh, she's adorable. - Oh, thank you. -她真可爱  -谢谢 

64 - Hi, precious. Hello. 你好  小公主 

65 - Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam. 我们刚从越南领养了她 

66 - And we're bringing her home for the first time, huh? 这是我们第一次带她回家 

67 - She's an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled. 她像个小天使  你们夫妻俩一定很激动 

68 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks. 抱歉  我来晚了  老爹去买点心了 

69 - So, what are we talking about? 大家在聊什么呢 

70 - Uh, we have been together for- guh, five- five years now? 我们在一起已经...5年了吧? 

71 - And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby. 我们非常想要一个孩子 

72 - So, we had initially asked one of our 一开始  我们想找一个 

73 - lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but- 女同性恋朋友做*母亲 

74 - Then we figured, they're already mean enough. 后来又想  她们平时就够刻薄了 

75 - Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? Pregnant, no. 你能想象她们怀孕后会如何变本加厉吗 

76 - No, thank you. Ick. 还是算了吧  想想就怕 

77 - You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily, 你看到没  大家本来在逗莉莉玩 

78 - and then you walk on and suddenly it's all, 你一走进来  他们就装作 

79 - "Ooh, SkyMall. 看机上购物杂志 

80 - I gotta buy a motorized tie rack." 考虑买个电动领带架什么的 

81 - All right, you know, I'm gonna give the speech. 我得教育一下这帮人 

82 - You are not giving the speech. 千万别这么做 

83 - You're gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours. 你还得和他们一起呆上5小时呢 

84 - You're right, you're right. Okay. I'm sorry. 好吧  你说得对  我错了 

85 - - Look at that baby with those cream puffs. - Okay. Excuse me. -你看那个拿着泡芙的宝宝  -好吧  够了 

86 - Excuse me. 不好意思 

87 - This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage 这宝宝原本可能会在人满为患的孤儿院里成长  

88 - if it wasn't for us "Cream puffs." 多亏我们这些娘娘腔收养呢 

89 - - And you know what? Note to all of you who judge- - Mitchell! -你们这些搞歧视的人  -米奇尔 

90 - Hear this. Love knows no race, creed- 给我听好了  爱不分种族  信仰 

91 - Or gender. 不分性别 

92 - - And shame on you, - Mitchell. -我为你们感到羞耻  -米奇尔 

93 - - you small-minded, ignorant few - Mitchell! -你们这些狭隘愚昧的  -米奇尔 

94 - - What? -She's got the cream puffs. -干嘛  -人家说的是泡芙 

95 - We would like to pay for everyone's headsets. 各位的耳机费我们请了 

96 - Buddy. Why do you keep getting stuck like this? 兄弟  你怎么老是卡在这里面 

97 - I thought I could get out this time. 我以为这次能拔出来呢 

98 - I'm just gonna say it. He needs to be checked by a specialist. 我直说了吧  他得去检查一下智商 

99 - There. Be free. 好了  你*了 

100 - Excalibur. 亚瑟王之剑拔出来了 

101 - - I'm having a friend over today. - Who? -今天我有朋友来家里玩  -谁啊 

102 - - Uh, you don't know him. - Him? Him? -你不认识他  -是个男生吗 

103 - Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him? 哇  男生  你会和他亲嘴吗 

104 - - Shut up. - Easy. Easy. -闭嘴  -别激动  别激动 

105 - - Yeah, shut up! - No, you shut up! -闭嘴  -你才闭嘴 

106 - Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay? 卢克和艾丽克斯  你们俩出去解决好吗 

107 - And do what? 怎么解决 

108 - - Fight in the sun. It'll be a nice change. - Haley. -在太阳下决斗  不错吧  -海莉 

109 - - I'm kidding. - Who's the boy? -我逗你们玩呢  -是谁要来 

110 - His name is Dylan. 他叫迪兰 

111 - I might as well tell him not to come... 我还是别让他来算了 

112 - Because you guys are just going to embarrass me again. 不然你们又得让我丢脸 

113 - Sweetie, hang on a second. 亲爱的  等等 

114 - You're 15, and it's the first time you've had a boy over. 你15岁了  还是第一次有男生来家里 

115 - I'm bound to be a little surprised, 我是有点小吃惊 

116 - but I'm not gonna embarrass you. 可我不会让你丢脸的 

117 - I better charge the camcorder. 我去给摄像机充好电 

118 - I'm kidding. Come on. Who are you talking to? 逗你玩呢  别这样  也不看看我是谁 

119 - I'm the cool dad. That's- That's my thing. 我是酷老爹  这是我的风格 

120 - I'm hip. I- I surf the Web. 我酷毙了  我会上网 

121 - I text. "LOL"- Laugh out loud. 我会发短信  LOL意思是癫狂笑 

122 - "OMG"- Oh, my God. OMG意思是饿滴神 

123 - "WTF"- Why the face? WTF意思是苦逼脸 

124 - Um, you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so- 《歌舞青春》里所有的舞我都会跳 

125 - *We're all in this together * *我们现在欢聚一堂* 

126 - *Yes, we are* *没错* 

127 - *We're all stars Something, something you know it* *我们都是大明星  嘻唰唰嘻唰唰* 

128 - - Mom! Dad! - What happened? -妈妈  爸爸  -什么事 

129 - - Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to. -卢克用枪射我  -我不是故意的 

130 - - Are you okay? - No. -你没事吧  -没事才怪 

131 - The little bitch shot me. 这小贱人用枪射我 

132 - - Language!  They're only plastic BBs. It was an accident. -别说脏话  -只是塑料枪  这是意外 

133 - What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? 早就告诉你  给他枪就会出事 

134 - - Deal with this. - Buddy, uncool. -你看着办吧  -老弟  是你不对哦 

135 - That's it? That's- No, no, no, no. 这就完了吗  不行  不行 

136 - The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him. 我们说好他用枪射了别人  你就得射他的 

137 - - We were serious about that? - Yes, we were. -我们当时是认真的吗  -当然是真的 

138 - And now you have to follow through. 所以你现在要按说好的执行 

139 - - I'm so sorry. - Liar. -我错了  -你就装吧 

140 - - Go. - He's got a birthday party. -去吧  -他还要去参加生日会呢 

141 - What's more important here, Dad? 生日会和家法哪个更重要  爸爸 

142 - You can shoot him afterwards. He'll be home at 2:00. 你可以之后再射他  他两点就能到家 

143 - I can't shoot him at 2:00. 两点不行 

144 - I'm showing a house at 2:00. 我两点还得带人去看房子 

145 - - What about 3:00? - No, he's got a soccer game at 3:00. -三点吧  -不行  三点他有足球赛 

146 - And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00. 然后我们五点就得去赴宴 

147 - 4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15. 4点15吧  你可以在那时候射他 

148 - Yeah, I guess that works for me. Oh! 行  那个时候我有空 

149 - - "Shoot Luke." - Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar. -射卢克  -抱歉老弟  铁板钉钉了 

150 - Oh, come on! 别这样啊 

151 - I'm quitting soccer. It is a game for children. 我不想踢足球了  那是小孩儿玩的 

152 - No, you're not quitting. 不  你不能放弃 

153 - You would have stopped that goal 对方之所以会进球 

154 - if you weren't staring at that little girl. 完全是因为你光顾着看小姑娘了 

155 - She is not a girl. She's a woman. 她不是小姑娘  她是成熟的女人 

156 - You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom 歌洛莉亚  你犯得着非要和 

157 - Why do you have to do things like that? 那个妈妈吵架吗 

158 - If somebody says something about my family, 如果有人敢对我的家人说三道四 

159 - - I'm going to - I'm just saying. -我一定  -我只是说 

160 - You could take it down here a little bit. That's all. 你火气应该小一点  就这样 

161 - Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's where you live, down here. 没错  你总是这么忍气吞声的 

162 - - But I live up here! - Yeah, but, -可我咽不下这口气  -可是 

163 - you don't have to be so emotional all the time.That's all I'm saying. 我只是说  你别那么容易激动嘛 

164 - Manny, you're with me on this, right? 曼尼  你也这么觉得吧 

165 - I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her. 我要告诉布兰达·费德曼我爱她 

166 - - Oh, for God sakes. - Manny, she's 16. -天啊  -曼尼  她都16岁了 

167 - Oh. It's okay for you to take an older lover? 你不就找了年长的对象吗 

168 - - Hey, watch it. - I wanna go to the mall where she works. -嘿  说话注意点  -我要去她上班的商场 

169 - But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one. 不过我先得换上我的白衬衫  丝绸的那件 

170 - Okay. If that's what you really want to do. 好吧  如果你真想这么做的话 

171 - Seriously. Not to be the evil stepdad, 说真的  不是我要当恶毒的后爹 

172 - but if you put on a puffy white shirt... 可你要真穿着那臃肿的白衬衣 

173 - and declare your love for a 16-year-old, 去向16岁的姑娘告白 

174 - you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole 你会被扒得只剩条白内裤 

175 - in your puffy white underpants. 然后被吊在旗杆上 

176 - - Stop the car. - Oh, where are you going? -停车  -你去哪儿 

177 - See? You hurt his feelings. 看到没  你伤他的心了 

178 - Ah- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit then- 要是这能让他变得坚强点 

179 - Oh, geez. He's picking flowers. 我的妈呀  他居然去采野花了 

180 - Manny's very passionate, just like his father. 曼尼是个多情种  和他爹一个样 

181 - My first husband- he's very handsome, but too crazy. 我的前夫  风度翩翩  但太疯狂了 

182 - It seemed like all we did was fight and make love, 我们不是在吵架就是在做爱 

183 - fight and make love, fight and make love. 吵架  做爱  吵架  做爱 

184 - One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together. 说真的  有一次  我们从窗口摔下去了 

185 - Which- Which one were you doing? 你们当时在吵架还是做爱 

186 - I'm hearing this for the first time. 我也是第一次听说这事 

187 - This doesn't worry you? 你不担心吗 

188 - She barely slept on the plane and she's still wide awake. 她在飞机上就没怎么睡  现在还很清醒 

189 - - Oh, stop worrying. - I can't. -别想多了  -不想才怪 

190 - That- That orphanage was all women. 那个孤儿院里都是女人 

191 - Maybe she just- she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape. 也许离开女性柔软的怀抱  她就睡不着 

192 - - I guess that's possible. - So here. -有可能  -那你抱着她 

193 - What the hell is that supposed to mean? 你这话是什么意思 

194 - Yes, 没错 

195 - I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby, 在等待领养孩子的期间  我是长胖了一点 

196 - which has been very difficult. 过程相当艰辛 

197 - But apparently your body 但显然你的身体会 

198 - does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing... 产生一些母性的本能反应 

199 - where it retains nutrients- 来储存养分 

200 - some sort of molecular physiology thing. 像是分子生理学那类的 

201 - But that's science. 那是科学事实 

202 - You can't- You can't fight it, so- 人类  根本无力抵抗 

203 - - I'm not saying anything. - You're saying everything. -我没别的意思  -你就是话里有话 

204 - - Count to three. - One, two- -数到3  -1  2 

205 - - Three. - Okay. -3  -好吧 

206 - - Oh, Cam. This is beautiful. - Oh, my God. Do you love it? -小卡  真美  -我的天  你喜欢吗 

207 - Yes, I- 当然  我 

208 - What the hell is that? 这是什么玩意 

209 - I had Andre do it while we were gone. 我让安珠尔趁我们不在时画的 

210 - Is that us, with wings? 那是我俩吗  还长着翅膀 

211 - We're floating above her, always there to protect her. 我们在她的上方  永远守护着她 

212 - Okay. Well, that's reassuring, right, Lily? 这真让人心安  对吧  莉莉 

213 - Yes, we tore you away from everything you know, 我们把你从熟悉的环境中抢出来 

214 - but don't worry, things are normal here. 可别担心  新环境一切"正常" 

215 - Your fathers are floating fairies. 你的大爸二爸可是飞天小精灵哦 

216 - No, can you call Andre, 不行  你能叫安珠尔 

217 - have him paint something a little less gay? 重新画点不那么基情的东西吗 

218 - By the way, we need to stop having friends 另外  我们也该少和安珠尔往来 

219 - with names like Andre. 他名字也太娘了 

220 - - Redheaded dad is angry daddy. - No, I'm not. -红发老爹怒火旺盛  -我才不是 

221 - Yes, you are. 你就是 

222 - Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport. 回来的路上  连胡娇都看出来了 

223 - Okay, that's another one- Pepper. 你看  又一个娘气的名字  胡娇 

224 - Okay, what's up? 你到底怎么不爽 

225 - All right, look. I- 好吧  听着 

226 - I- I never told my family we were adopting a baby. 我还没有告诉家里领养孩子的事 

227 - - And... - I know. -而且  -我知道 

228 - - You do? - Yeah, and I don't blame you. I know your family. -你知道  -我不怪你  我了解你家人 

229 - You'd tell 'em. They'd say something judgmental. 你一告诉他们  他们就开始说三道四 

230 - - Exactly. - You'd get mad. -就是这样  -然后你就会生气 

231 - I know. And then something that's supposed to be nothing but joyful 没错  当爹本该是一件喜事 

232 - suddenly turns into this huge fight. 转眼就变成一团混战 

233 - And who wants a big, emotional scene like that? 谁愿意让事情变得一团糟呢 

234 - Thank you. Thank you. 谢谢  谢谢 

235 - I'm so- I'm so relieved you understand. 你能理解我  真是让我松了一口气 

236 - I invited them over for dinner tonight. 所以我邀请了他们今晚来吃饭 

237 - - What? - I had to. -什么  -我也是不得已 

238 - This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider. 这样下去没完没了  你就只会逃避 

239 - No. No. No. Cam, I'm calling them right now and canceling. 不  小卡  我现在就打电话取消这件事 

240 - No, you're not. 不准打 

241 - You're telling your family you adopted a baby, tonight. 今晚你得把领养的事告诉全家人 

242 - And you do have avoidance issues. Even Longinus said so. 你就是喜欢逃避  连朗吉娜都这么说 

243 - Are- Are you really not hearing these names? 你自己听听  这些名字有多娘 

244 - Don't answer it! I'll get it! 你们别管了  我来开门 

245 - Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan. 你好  你一定是迪兰吧 

246 - - Hey. Dylan. Yeah. - I'm Haley's mother. -是的  迪兰  -我是海莉的妈妈 

247 - - Come on. Let's go. - Okay. Um- -我们走吧  -那个 

248 - Hang on one second. 等一下 

249 - Dylan, you're still in high school? 迪兰  你还在念高中吗 

250 - - Yeah, I'm a senior. -A senior. Okay. Cool. -是  我高三了   -高三  很好 

251 - Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey. He is Dylan, and he is a senior. 菲尔  亲爱的  这是迪兰  他读高三 

252 - You have to scare him. 你得给他个下马威 

253 - Let me meet this "Playa." 让我瞧瞧这个花心大少 

254 - Phil Dunphy, yo. 在下菲尔·邓菲 

255 - It's like that. You just- You just stare down at 'em, 就是这样  你只需死盯着他们看 

256 - let the eyes do the work. 用眼神中的杀气震住他们 

257 - Your mouth might be saying, "Hey, we cool," 你嘴上说着  没问题 

258 - but your eyes are like, "No, we not." 可你的眼神说  才怪 

259 - "Nice to meet you." "No, it's not." 很高兴见到你  才怪 

260 - "It's all good." 挺不错嘛 

261 - "No, it's not." 才怪 

262 - - Okay, I see you two guys- - Wait, wait, wait. -我看你俩已经  -等一下 

263 - You two- 你们俩 

264 - You two keep it real, know what I mean, son? 你俩要坦诚相待  懂吗  小子 

265 - Not really. 不太懂 

266 - - Please, stop. - That's cool. -求求你  别说了  -没事 

267 - - Ow. Oh, God! That's my back. - Oh, honey. Sweetheart. -妈呀我的背  -亲爱的 

268 - Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil. 我被婴儿油滑倒了 

269 - "Oh, where you from originally?" 你哪儿冒出来的啊 

270 - "I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation." 单挑的话  我轻而易举就能放倒你 

271 - I don't know about this. Should I call a doctor? 我不知道该怎么办  要打电话叫医生吗 

272 - No, no, no, no, no. Okay. 不用不用  好了 

273 - - You're very strong, homes. - Thanks. -小样儿挺强壮的啊  -谢谢夸奖 

274 - - Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing. - There you go. -好  轻轻放下我  -好了 

275 - - Okay, let's go. Come on. - I am on my side though. -行了我们走吧  -我还侧躺着 

276 - So just flip me right back, and we're good. 现在只需把我放平  就没事了 

277 - We'll be good. 就没事了 

278 - I just need to get flipped right on my back, 只需要把我翻过来就行 

279 - and we should be fine. So- 就没事了 

280 - Brenda Feldman. 布兰达·费尔曼 

281 - - What is that? - A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman. -你拿的什么  -我为布兰达·费尔曼写的诗 

282 - Of course it is. 不用想也知道 

283 - I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action. 我将心事化为文字  将文字用于行动 

284 - Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this. 你取消行动的话  我就给你50块钱 

285 - I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money? 我才11岁而已  要那么多钱干什么 

286 - What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old? 你这年纪要16岁的花姑娘又能干什么 

287 - - He's like a bullfighter. - Mmm. You ever see a bullfight? -他就像个斗牛士  -你见过斗牛吗 

288 - I can't watch this. - You're in such a bad mood. 我看不下去了  -我知道你心情不好 

289 - And I know why. It's because that man thought you were my father. 我也知道原因  因为那人以为你是我爸爸 

290 - - No. - Yes. -不是的  -就是 

291 - - No. - When you say "No" like that, it's always "Yes." -不是  -你这样否认时  就代表是 

292 - Come on. We're in the mall. 别这样  我们都到商场了 

293 - Let's get you, like, some younger clothes. 给你买点年轻的衣服吧 

294 - - There's a store there. - I don't need any younger clothes. -那边有家店  -我不需要年轻的衣服 

295 - And I don't care what some jackass 我也不在乎那些 

296 - in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me. 穿着破牛仔裤的混蛋如何看我 

297 - Good. You shouldn't. 没错  你不用在乎他们 

298 - You should only care what I think. 你只要在乎我的想法就行了 

299 - I love you, and I don't care how old you are. 我爱你  我不在意你的年纪 

300 - So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny. 所以别郁闷了  对曼尼也别那么凶 

301 - The only reason I'm hard on Manny... 我对曼尼严格只是因为 

302 - Is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself. 我不想让他出洋相 

303 - And I can smell that hair goo of his from here. 我从这儿都能闻到他的发胶味了 

304 - Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there. 我不知道他那里会发生什么 

305 - But you're his family now, and that means only one thing- 可你是他的家人  这就意味着 

306 - You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face. 你只可背后送春风  不可当面唾其脸 

307 - - What? -It's something my mom always says. -啥玩意  -这是我妈常挂嘴边的话 

308 - It's gorgeous in Spanish. 用西班牙语说很华丽的 

309 - Look, he's there. 瞧  他来了 

310 - - She has a boyfriend. - Oh, I'm sorry, mi nino. -她名花有主了  -真遗憾  小宝贝 

311 - I gave her my heart, 我把心献给了她 

312 - she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff. 她却还了一幅把我画成老式警长的图 

313 - - That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it? - No, mi amor. -我真傻是吧  -才不是呢小宝贝 

314 - It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave. 你是勇气可嘉  对吧  杰  勇气可嘉  

315 - W-Well, you'll know better next time. 下次你就会进步了 

316 - Come on. Let's get a pretzel. 来  我们买椒盐卷去 

317 - Mentira. A me se me gusta. 没事  我挺喜欢这画的 

318 - Uh, excuse me, sir. 先生  不好意思 

319 - We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right. 在商场散步锻炼的人必须靠右边走 

320 - Alex, get out! Mom! 艾丽克斯  出去  妈妈你看她 

321 - Alex, leave your sister alone. 艾丽克斯  别去烦你姐姐 

322 - I was just getting my book. Gosh. 我只是进去拿我的书而已  至于吗 

323 - I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy. 我知道  亲爱的  可你要尊重个人隐私 

324 - - What are they doing up there? - Nothing. -他们在楼上干嘛呢  -没干嘛 

325 - Lying on her bed, watching a movie. 躺在她床上并肩看电影 

326 - Okay. Okay. 很好  很好 

327 - Um, I'm making a cake for tonight. 我在为今晚的聚餐准备蛋糕 

328 - You wanna help me with the frosting? 你想帮我做糖霜吗 

329 - Sure. 好啊 

330 - So, you know, if Haley got pregnant, 要是海莉怀孕了 

331 - would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months, 你会假装她得了腮腺炎  请假在家 

332 - and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours? 然后告诉别人那孩子是你的吗 

333 - - What? - This senior at school was "Out sick" for four months, -什么  -有个高中生请了4个月病假 

334 - but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding 可吉娜·瑞斯尼克发誓说看到她 

335 - at a coin-op car wash. 在自助洗车站给孩子喂奶 

336 - Buddy, what are you wearing? 老弟  你穿了多少衣服啊 

337 - - Nothing. - Uh-uh. No jacket. -没穿多少  -把外套脱了 

338 - One hat. 只能戴一顶帽子 

339 - How many pairs of underwear do you have on? 你穿了几条内裤啊 

340 - One. 就1条 

341 - Six. 是6条 

342 - First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat. 首先  看海莉怀孕变胖还蛮爽的 

343 - And how awesome would it be 更酷的是 

344 - to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew. 多了个假弟弟  实际上是我亲外甥 

345 - Haley is not getting pregnant. 海莉才不会怀孕 

346 - - Just saying "If." - I know. -我只是说假如  -我知道 

347 - And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, 我知道你喜欢找你姐的茬儿 

348 - but it's not gonna work this time. 不过这次不管用了 

349 - You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl. 知道为啥吗  因为你姐是个好女孩 

350 - I know. I was just like her when I was- 我明白  因为她和我当年一模一... 

351 - I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this. 要知道  我也不想这么做 

352 - But this is an important lesson that you're learning. 可你得吸取这个教训 

353 - So, soak it. Keep it. 所以  记好了  记住了 

354 - You're too close. It's gonna hurt. 你站太近了  这样会很疼的 

355 - It's supposed to hurt. 就是要你疼 

356 - - And why are you smiling? - I'm- What? -你干嘛贱贱地笑  -我笑了吗 

357 - Oh, forget it. I can't do this. 算了  我下不了手 

358 - The point is you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson. 就是要让你害怕  你已经学到教训了 

359 - Mom! What are you doing? 妈  你干什么啊 

360 - Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. 我是来放洗好的衣服 

361 - - Is this a bad time? - Yeah. -打扰到你们了吗  -当然 

362 - Oh. Okay. 那我走好了 

363 - Uh, can you shut the door, please? 你能把门带上吗 

364 - Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open. 我们还是让门开着吧 

365 - Why? 为啥 

366 - Because I have, uh, seen this little show before- 因为这种场景我见多了 

367 - Lying on the bed with a tall senior. 和高大的学长共卧一塌 

368 - One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, 上一秒还只是一起看《鹰冠庄园》的朋友 

369 - and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table 下一秒你们就钻进游戏桌下 

370 - with your bra in your pocket. 宽衣解带了 

371 - Mom! 妈妈 

372 - - You hit my bone! - It was an accident! -你打到我的骨头了  -纯属意外 

373 - - I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend. -我以为你是我哥们呢  -我是啊 

374 - Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom. 爸爸  你必须和妈妈谈谈 

375 - She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me! 她简直是疯了  而且丢尽了我的脸 

376 - Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as- 宝贝  你妈是不像你爸那么通情达理 

377 - What is with this thing? 这玩意怎么回事啊 

378 - My dad. 我爸 

379 - Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this. 我爸对这事还是不太习惯 

380 - Um- He-He still does this thing. It's been five years now. 已经过了5年了  他还是无法完全接受 

381 - And he still does this thing where he announces himself... 每次他要进入我和小卡在的房间时 

382 - before walking into any room we're in... 他都会先喊一声 

383 - just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss. 以防撞见我和小卡亲嘴 

384 - Wish my mother had that system. 要是我妈也有这个习惯就好了 

385 - - Remember? - Not now. -还记得吗  -以后再说 

386 - I still can't believe you did this to me. 我真不敢相信你这么对我 

387 - Would you get in the spirit of things? It's a celebration. 你能高兴点吗  这是个庆祝会啊 

388 - Oh, God. 天啊 

389 - - Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready. - Okay. -我去给莉莉打扮一下  -好 

390 - - And I want you to just come straight out with it. - All right. -我要你对他们实话实说  -好吧 

391 - Okay. You can do this. 听话  你能做到的 

392 - Yeah. Sports guy chest bump. 来个运动员式的撞胸 

393 - - No. - Sports guy chest bump. -不要  -来撞一个 

394 - - Cam. Oh! All right. Go - Do it. -小卡  好了  -上吧 

395 - Sorry. 抱歉 

396 - - How are you? - Hi, guys. Hey. -你好啊  -大家好啊 

397 - That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks. 看起来很美味啊  谢谢 

398 - Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind. 不用谢  打开吧  爸爸后脚马上就到 

399 - Knock, knock! We're here. Coming in! 有人吗  我们要进来了 

400 - Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here. 别担心爸爸  我们没在里面搞基 

401 - May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap? 能帮你脱下这缤纷外套和闪亮小帽吗 

402 - - Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, Jay. -拿去吧  -杰你好啊 

403 - - Gloria, hi. - Hi. -你好  歌洛莉亚  -你好 

404 - - How are you? Hi, Dad. - Hi, Gloria. How are you? -老爸你还好吗  -歌洛莉亚  你好 

405 - - Oh, what a beautiful dress. - Ay, thank you, Phil. -裙子真漂亮  -谢谢你  菲尔[摸摸] 

406 - Okay. 好吧 

407 - Oh, hey, Phil. 菲尔 

408 - That's how she says "Phil." Not "Feel." Phil. 她是叫你名字  不是要你去摸 

409 - - So how was your trip? - It was good. It was good actually. -旅行怎么样  -挺好的  真的 

410 - But, um, about that, I- I 关于这事 

411 - have something that I need to tell you guys. 我有些事要告诉你们 

412 - Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. 我们去越南不光是为了旅游 

413 - We, uh, kind of have some big news. 我们有重要消息宣布 

414 - Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving. 天啊  要是小卡隆了胸  我立马走人 

415 - - Dad. - I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom. -爸爸  -我希望你的家长没让你觉得丢人  妈 

416 - Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today... 别管她  海莉今天首次带男生回家 

417 - And Phil shot him. 菲尔就给了他一枪 

418 - Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago, 总之  一年前 

419 - Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, 小卡和我开始渴望有一个 

420 - for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby? 有一个  孩子 

421 - - Ooh, that's a bad idea. - What do you mean, "Bad idea"? -这主意很糟糕  -你说糟糕是什么意思 

422 - Well, kids need a mother. 孩子需要有妈妈 

423 - I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog. 如果你们俩无聊了  可以养条狗 

424 - Okay, we're not bored, Dad. 我们不是闲得无聊  爸 

425 - I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son. 我支持米奇尔  尽管你不是我亲生的 

426 - I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say... 我觉得爸爸的意思是 

427 - is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight. 米奇尔  你有点紧张兮兮的 

428 - Kids bring chaos, and- and you don't handle it well. 孩子就意味着麻烦  你没法处理这种事 

429 - That's not what Dad's saying. 爸爸可不是这个意思 

430 - That's what you're saying. 这是你的意思 

431 - And it's insulting in a whole different way. 而且是从另一个角度羞辱了我 

432 - Okay, people. Let's all "Chillax." 好了  各位都冷静点 

433 - - Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? - Thank you. Thank you. -卡梅隆舅夫呢  -多谢多谢 

434 - Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here. 总算有人发现他不在了  而不是光羞辱我 

435 - Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh? 原来你的重要消息就是这个啊 

436 - You two broke up. 你俩分手了吗 

437 - Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway. 领养个孩子也挽救不了破裂的婚姻 

438 - And let me tell you. You're better off, 老实说  你们分了也好 

439 - because he was a bit of a drama queen. 他就喜欢小题大做 

440 - No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No. 不是的  打住  打住 

441 - You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend, 你们到我家来  还羞辱我和我的男朋友 

442 - who, by the way, is not that dramatic- 而且他才没有小题大做 

443 - We adopted a baby. 我们领养了一个宝宝 

444 - Her name is Lily. 她名叫莉莉 

445 - - Exciting! - Just turn it off. -激动吧  -停下来 

446 - I can't turn it off. It's who I am. 我停不下来  这就是我的个性 

447 - - The music. - Oh, yes, the music. -我是说音乐  -关音乐啊 

448 - Come say hi to Lily. 来和莉莉打招呼吧 

449 - Ay, miren a la princesita. 看看这个小公主 

450 - The little princess. 真是个小公主 

451 - - She's so cute! - Thank you. -她好可爱  -多谢夸奖 

452 - Let me see her. Let me see her. 让我看看  让我看看 

453 - Hi there, Lily. 你好啊  莉莉 

454 - "Lily." Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? 莉莉  对她来说不是很难发音吗 

455 - - Phil. - Excuse me. -菲尔打住  -我说 

456 - Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea. 我知道我说了领养这个主意很糟糕 

457 - But, uh, what do I know? 可我又懂什么呢 

458 - I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. 我也不是个模范父亲 

459 - Been trying all my life to get it right. I'm still screwing up. 一辈子都想做好爸爸  可我还是搞砸了 

460 - - Right, Manny? - I wrote a song about it in the car. -对吧曼尼  -我在车上为此写了首歌 

461 - Of course you did. 意料之中 

462 - Anyway, I'm happy for you. 不管怎样  我为你们感到高兴 

463 - And, uh, you should know that, uh, 你们要知道 

464 - I'm not here to spit in your face, 我不是来唾你们脸的 

465 - I'm here to... blow at your back. 我是来给你们  吹吹后背春风的 

466 - - I don't understand what that means. - I don't- -我不懂你的意思  -我也不懂 

467 - Well, it's- it's supposed to sound better in Spanish. 这话用西班牙语说比较好听 

468 - Oh, that's beautiful. That's really nice. 真好听  真美 

469 - And thank you too. 也谢谢你 

470 - Anyhow, Mitch, uh- 总之  米奇 

471 - No, Dad, it's- it's- - 不用了  爸爸 

472 - - I got her. I got her. - Oh, she's crying. -我来抱她  -她哭了 

473 - She wants her grandpa! She wants her daddy! 她要爷爷抱  她要爸爸抱 

474 - - Do you wanna meet Grandpa? - What? Are you kidding? -想见见爷爷吗  -开什么玩笑 

475 - She's one of us now. Let me see the little pot sticker. 她是自家人了  让我瞧瞧你这跟屁虫 

476 - Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you? 你真是个小可爱  对吗 

477 - Ah. Look at this. 看看这个 

478 - We're from different worlds, yet we somehow fit together. 我们来自不同的世界  但我们彼此相容 

479 - Love is what binds us, through fair or stormy weather. 爱将我们紧紧相连  共度风风雨雨 

480 - I stand before you now with only one agenda- 我到你的前面  只有一事相许 

481 - "To let you know my heart is yours, 我的心只属于你 

482 - Feldman comma Brenda." 布兰达·费尔曼 

483 - I mean, seriously. 不是吧我靠 

484 - Luke, so far, hasn't beaten me in basketball. 至今为止  卢克在篮球上还没赢过我 

485 - It's 2-0. 2-0. Okay. Okay. 2比0  2比0  来吧 

486 - - Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen! - Dad, stop it! -手下败将  滚吧  -爸爸  住手 

487 - Can you do me a favor? Just grab- 帮个忙好吗  站过去 

488 - How's the weather down there? 篮下的滋味如何 

489 - But when the day comes that he does win- 等到他赢过我的那一天 

490 - if- you know- if/when- 如果有那么一天 

491 - he beats me, I'm just gonna be like, 他打败了我  我会说 

492 - "Well done. Well done." 干得好  干得好 

493 - Just, like, let him- Just support him... 就这样支持他 

494 - in- in- in that kind of stuff. 就是这样 

495 - I mean, I'd probably want to go, like, 我可能会说 

496 - two out of three and just see what happens there, but- 三局两胜才算赢  再来一局什么的 

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